7. He’s not your last chance. Many women stay in bad relationships, falsely believing he’s their last chance. Whether we think we’re too old, too long-gone, too messed up or have put too much time into a relationship—it’s commonplace to stay with a guy because we think it’s either him or being alone for the next 30 years. I know the statistics, I know how hard it is to find a good man—but don’t buy into the lie that a mediocre relationship is your last chance.
If you walk away from this post with one nugget, know this: Love isn’t hopeless. Don’t believe for a moment that God doesn’t see the heartache in your relationships, in your marriage, in your singleness. It is never too late to start making decisions now that will affect your relationships in the future. Hope will never disappoint.
(I mean, the part when we plan for the future.)
Making plans is the best part of the day. It melts hearts away. It’s exciting, it’s positive. It strengthens the commitment, bonding two people for a long-term effort. It’s encouraging, allowing the involved to look forward to something. The plans are ideal. Perfect. A dream to come true. But how much of what we have planned with our partner would ever come true? Or for ourselves? Would any of it be real?
Making future plans is normal. And with the buts of life, our only choice is to live. We live to make plans, but we don’t live according to those we make, but to His. I am a normal person, and I do normal things. (Yes!) And as I grow and engage with various people, listen to their experiences, same or not with mine, I have learned that it is in letting go and letting God, that we succeed living.
Making plans is easy, but fulfilling it, is uncertain. When one fails, the plan fails, and it erodes the something in any relationship. And even, as the time frame is adjusted for long term, the present gives in. The plans become the goals and sometimes, unconsciously, it eats us up.
The present is a gift. And I have gotten many gifts already. I have wasted some, because I was too focused on my plans. I had it tough. It was all in my hands. I was even unaware that I had lost myself on the process. I stuck to the plans. To find out, time passed, things changed, I was still stuck.
And another gift came, it’s today. That I have known hope and faith. I hope that my plans come true, and that’s all I can ever do, keep hoping. But if they won’t, faith will back me up. And will perfectly put me to place, in perfect shape.
There’s nothing wrong in planning, but it is in holding too much in your hands that may damage things. #JustSaying
I know it’s not just me. I have understood the liberty that’s posted in having your own social profiles. You are entitled to your posts and to a lot of things that you involve yourself into as it may be considered your property. You invite friends and you can even have acquaintances. This social networking has helped people communicate and get updated easily. But why is it that some people have increasingly become mean and self-centered?
It’s natural to criticize, but it’s not natural to put someone down to elevate yourself, isn’t it? It’s even more mean that these people defend themselves to be naturally frank when it’s already obvious that they simply want these people to abide to their visual standards. They tell their audience of what they want to see, they post what they are irritated about, and what, expecting people to follow them or else they’d not be friends? Immature. Why did they even have friends on their list anyway?
It’s expected that we can’t please everybody. And we can’t like everything. But I believe it is morally and ethically right to embrace your silence because your rights are their rights too. If you can just close your eyes and tame your mouth, then likely, you will not be misunderstood. They don’t have to please you and vice-versa. Enough of the reckless burst outs. Let’s be more sensitive, and be the bigger person in this social world. Thanks.
Two days have been traumatic. I’m at a place where people look forward to, where people party a lot, spend time with their companions and meet new ones. I fail to feel some of the things these people expect because I know, I am not that kind., and it’s not wrong if I am myself. I am being me. I am a drinker, a party goer, a fun-loving person, but a certified reserved one.
I had these days preparing, imagining, all excitement. I was in the clouds thinking how it will run, but if you will ask me now, I will not go back to this place without the ones that share the same umbrella with me. It’s going to be different and difficult. It will ruin the essence of vacation, and will turn to be wasted time.
This getaway brought me to a real brighter shade. I have few friends, and I never bother of the number. I so thought that these friends that I have are perfect mirrors of me, one way or another. I am very blessed to have different types of friends - really. I can be good and bad (with vices) at the same time. Comments may appear, but it never lasts. The number doesn’t matter at all. I am sure, I have found the best.
But I’m not sure if this is pure personality crisis. I am spending time with two of the best people in my life. They are two people who stood by me in good and bad times. Failed friendships allowed us to meet, then on, we were never broken.
Now that we are grown ups, things have changed in major ways. I am this type who went here to do activities, take pictures, laugh and eat with them and only them. Then some people just came and I wanted to be out and I am out of it. Like how Science explains it, foreign bodies can cause illness. That’s how I can perfectly illustrate this world I have now. I wanna spend time with them, and I get emotional as I struggle in exclusion. It’s being caught in between time plus friendship, and myself.
I chose myself, and I am firm about it. I may have unexplainable reasons why I choose to be in this, but what they choose is not definitely the one I want, need or even expected. I am not threatened, I am myself.
If there’s one thing that I really would want others to learn from me, it’s this. It will never make you any less of a friend or of a person if you are yourself. If you have been living your life with your stand, your friends may not be there to support you or be like you, but they will understand you. And in your lone time, you have to be stronger for yourself.
Maybe at the end of this, if you know me personally you’d say, I have a natural muffin-heart. Acknowledging my feelings even if they were originally fruits of others is never a weakness, that’s my belief. With what I feel, I am more alive.
The sight of my parents getting too confused on excitement, worry and thankfulness brought me tears. At one point in my life I have concluded that no matter what happens, leaving home for bigger opportunities would lead to all smiles, all good vibes. It’s not me who’s leaving. (FYI to my friends). But after this short talk with my brother who has decided to fully venture the world and be a man who plans and works on his future, I heard my parents talking like their son’s gonna attend school the first time. That led me into thinking that one of the strongest in this world is, parents. Imagine having to bring up a child for years, for keeping up with the marriage and the family at the same time, seeing the children grow, seeing them at their worst and best, and then they’d eventually settle down and be on their own. I couldn’t easily detach myself with the reality that yes, my parents are dealing with it, and they seem to be strong at it, and soon, maybe, I also will. I have to be ready for both worlds.
Dreams aren’t restrictions. Adults my age are risk takers. Our youth has granted us the chance to enjoy and explore, to live a life with no regrets. But looking back and recognizing that we will never make it there alone, without our family who has armored us with support, makes success significantly different. Uttering two words - “Thank you”, would be the most overwhelming assurance we can share to them of having to raise us successfully, a person with goals and hope. If I’d describe what I saw minutes ago, it’s simple. It was humbling.
One day would come that you will meet me. Again maybe, the first time, I don’t care. But that moment, will be ours. I will wear my best self, not the way people want to see me, but the way I have known and accepted myself and that time, I surely love me. You might have seen my old or never, doesn’t matter. My present self is my present to you. There might be few things that perhaps in a slightly the same way or of some things that happened in my past that would happen again, rest assured that I will only choose to have them again because it’s with you and never for jealousy or comparison. I will respect it though if we will not even recognize any traces of our past, but I want to nail ourselves to reality that it has happened, and we must learn from it, accept it, for it has led our ways to meet. And you support me. I know you will love me for me, not question me of the decisions especially the stupid ones that I made, but you will extend your understanding to reach bounds of what we call, unconditional love. And I promise, I’ll do the same.
When I see you, and spend longer times with you. I will pinch you, for finally, you are real. I will pinch you because it took a long time before our fate sought each other. I will pinch you so you can have the right to pinch me back, so I can feel, yes, we’re finally together.
I will stare at you, talk to you eye to eye. Blinking would even waste my seconds but it’s okay. I know that you will say I have more tomorrows to stare at you, at every inch of you. I will memorize you, your likes and dislikes. I will venture the world with you. Listen to your songs, sing them. I will pay attention as on how you drop your words, how you like, how you hate. I wanna know you. First time or not I still will, because this time, is our perfect time, no more losing you. So I have to, and I will. I will confess to you, that there were nights when I lost hope of not having to find you. I will tell you that I have thought of the future, unclear but it was with you.
You will be one of the battles I’ll fight till last. I will save up courage and strength to face everyday for us. I hope I can record everyday, but I know the memories we’ll share will win a big percentage in me. I will boast your love in a subtle way. In a way that I will encourage hearts that have been through the roller coaster ride. I will inspire people to love again, because that’s what you did to me, after knowing and choosing you.
Surely, I will not be perfect, and you will never be. But we will both live according to honesty and faithfulness. We will irritate each other, but we will hug more. You will miss me when I’m at work and I will be thinking about you every time. I will fall in love with you over and over and over again despite it. When we’re old, we’ll be bestfriends more than lovers. And we’ll never mind. We’ll buy eyeglasses together, take time in doing routines, walk slowly, we will. I’m sure I’ll see your hands fit mine, that’s just where your wrinkled skin is destined. And so are mine.
We will have many photographs. Ours, the family, young till old. We’d have many photo albums and picture frames and even paintings of us. Those pictures we’re all significant days on that calendar we both have marked red because they will be and not just once, to be the best times of our lives.
We’ll sing and dance and laugh together. We will live each day as normal as it can ever be, but in me I know, you are the prince charming given real body and soul and breath and life. We will pray together. And the Lord will guide us as one.
You will be the many many things I have longed for, but those little things that I did not will stir the excitement and challenge in me. I know in my heart I will not worry, for you will be the comfort during down times, the cheer, the company, with you, is worth. I know that you are the one God will share to me, because you will take care of me like no one else. And if there’s one thing that I can do for you, that’s I will love you like the first time, and that will be the only time that I will ever love someone like that.
My Dearest Allie,
I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.
I hope I can admit it, I did but I can’t repeatedly do so. It poisons me, emotionally. And I don’t want to continue hurting myself of something I can’t do anything about. The self-inflicted negativity has continued to destroy me, and bother me, and hinder me to be someone I wanna be. And I wanna stop it. But it’s difficult, because I know the mortal confidence and assurance I get falls relatively short that I can keep coming back and find such memories still, poisoning.
I hope you know that the time I have now is something I have longed for and prayed for. And yes, you are unaware, but I know not totally, of the circumstances. It’s difficult to dislike someone and she doesn’t know it. It’s like talking to a wall - no answers, no reactions, nothing. And I have been building walls around me, locking doors and trapping myself, so I won’t be back in sight to such place, but still, why do I get disturbed.
I wanna tell you this. You had your time. You had your memories. I can’t undo them, and put them in my box. I can’t wear your shoes. I know you were more. You were life. You were everything. I hope you know that I waste my time convincing myself that I know my place, that I know what I think and what I feel, all because I have to do it for myself, or else, I’d end up broken. You, have been one of the best memories. And for another moment, I’d say, I get jealous. I don’t know if you deserve it. Maybe you do, and that I’m just jaded.
But I wanna tell you this too. I’d be over you. Your memory won’t visit mine anymore. I’m ending your reign over my faith, for I know I am in this for some reasons and it’s not because of you nor him….but because of Him. There might be surprises and lessons and unpredictable scenarios, that may favor you, or me…but I know the walls I’ve built were broken, for I have a Rock stronger than envy. I wanna apologize for my judgments, for my sudden disgust, for my immature words. I hope you’d understand that I have been in love, and I’d protect it, no matter what. <3
A Rhyming Tale
In Bartholomew Biddle and the Very Big Wind, Gary Ross tells the story of an adventurous boy
Picture c/o Rachel <3